#31... Not Listening

Do you like to feel important, respected and loved? I bet you do. Almost everyone does. How many really do?

In your frantic and fast-paced world as a teacher, listening to all those who need to be listened to is difficult at best. One of the primary ways to communicate importance to another is to stop and listen.

When you aren’t being listened to, it’s evident. You feel it. And it's not a very good feeling either... is it?

Your potential listener's eyes dart from side to side, and the look on her face says, “I’m too busy to listen. You aren't important enough for me to listen to you." Wow, that hurts! Bunches!

The message you get is one of rejection. Even though the intent may not be malicious, the damage is still the same, and that’s a mistake.

Listening is loving... We all need love, especially your failure-prone students...

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To listen, truly listen, you must listen first from your heart.

How on earth do you listen from your heart? Good question...

Listening from your heart requires remembering how you felt when someone didn’t listen to you. It takes empathy, time... conscious effort and practice, too!

To help focus and hone your listening from the heart skills, remember how wonderful it feels to be listened to. It's just like a big bear hug.

Remember this, too... when a student is talking to you, at that moment in time, it is the most important thing on earth to him. So, listen! Please. You'll be loved for it.

Listening also requires honesty, because there are times when you don’t have the time to listen because of other responsibilities and duties.

When this occurs, be honest and say, “At this moment, I have another obligation that I must meet. I want to have enough time to listen to what you have to say. When can we get together?”

It may feel awkward, but it is honest.

Many teachers hope, by openly displaying their disinterest, the student will get the message and go away. This tactic is harmful and it hurts.

When you make and take the time to listen, be careful to listen without your answer running. Do this...
After your student has completed a thought, pause 5 seconds... then, respond. Be on the alert... 5 seconds is an eternity.

When you pause you send a message that you’ve considered what has been said, and you are responding accordingly.

Gentle and caring eye contact also communicates: Hey, I'm listening. You're important to me!

Ever notice how powerful you feel when you sense the person your talking to is actually listening? Awesome!!! Share that feeling. Listen.

Another tool is a gentle nod and a loving smile.

You have the opportunity to show you care and to show your students they are important when you stop and listen. Start today!

Remember... Listening is loving,
Karl

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